i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
