i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
