Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
