Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
