Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
