All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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