All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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