Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
