Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Who wears a wallet chain?!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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