I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
