Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
