margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize