didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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