at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
