tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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