i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
