I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
