Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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