Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
