I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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