The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
