I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize