Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
