He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
