I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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