24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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