My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
