she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
