Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You left your phone here
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