I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
