The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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