What a fucking waste of an outfit
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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