There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize