This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
