Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
