What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
