nut hugger
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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