thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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