wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
