I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
