i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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