I wish my penis had an off switch
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
