Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
