I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
