i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
