quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
