my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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