I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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