On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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