Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
