Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
