Who did Billy Mays play for?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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