Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
