i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
