I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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