My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
