hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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