I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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