OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
