i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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