He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
