how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
